Dumping the Pump

After more than a year of sticking my "please do not disturb" post-it on my office door 2 or three times a day, I'm officially retiring my breastpump. I hadn't yet given much thought to when I'd stop pumping when, a week ago, Violet decided she was done drinking breastmilk any way other than straight from the source.

She was never much for the bottle to begin with. We waited to introduce one until she was six or eight weeks old, and Eric's initial overtures with it were not well received. She refused to take a bottle the entirety of my maternity leave, and we worried about whether she'd be more willing once she was in daycare. I went back to work when she was three months old, and getting her settled there went more smoothly than I ever could have hoped. But she still refused to take a bottle. She wasn't upset about it, she just wouldn't eat.

Fortunately, my employer is family-friendly, and supported me as I worked around Violet's preference for nothing but the breast. I'd nurse her there at the daycare immediately before going in to work, and return at lunch time to a happy (but hungry!) baby. After lunch she'd hold out until I returned at the end of the day when we'd sit down and nurse before heading home. She made up for any missed milk when we were together at night.

She stuck with this schedule for a couple of months, while her caregivers at daycare continued to gently encourage her to accept a bottle. Once she did, she never took more than 4 ounces at a time - and usually only an ounce or two. Just enough, it seemed, to stave off hunger for a little while longer.

Since Violet was never particularly attached to the bottle, I probably shouldn't have been so surprised when she decided she was done with it. She refused it from her sippy cup, too, waiting for the milk in the cup to be replaced with water before drinking. Wanting to be certain, I kept pumping all last week while we waited to see if she changed her mind. She didn't. So I packed up the pump, and worked all day through today without taking a break to pump. I could get used to this.

I don't know of any woman who loves to pump, and I certainly didn't, but I'm glad that I did it. I'm happy to have kept her exclusively breast-fed for more than six months despite being separated during the day, and to have continued to supply her with my milk to drink while we were apart as long as I have. She'll continue to get the benefits of breastmilk as we continue nursing whenever we're together; she's shown no sign of losing interest in that! And I'm looking forward to being done with dragging the pump to the office every day, (don't laugh) deleting my freezer stash spreadsheet, and getting back to the best parts of the nursing relationship: when she is snuggled into me and looks up and smiles. Or waves her foot in my face. Those are some of my favorite motherhood moments so far.

Wordless Wednesday

AP 101

With Attachment Parenting month approaching, I thought I’d provide an Intro to AP of sorts for those who haven’t been formally introduced to the topic, and as a prologue to posts to come. If you’re already an AP’er, you might be more familiar with Dr. Sears’ “7 Baby B’s” than the eight principles articulated by Attachment Parenting International listed below, but you’ll find the two are consistent, and essentially mirror each other. It all points to the same place: nurturing a strong bond with your baby.

Attachment Parenting (“AP”) isn’t a fringe philosophy endorsed only by the patchouli-wearing hippie set. It’s simply a natural approach to parenting that can be observed across centuries and across the globe. Certainly there are multitudes of people practicing attachment parenting without ever having heard it referred to as such. They’re just doing what feels right for their families - and can often be heard to exclaim “I didn’t know there was a name for it!” when they learn of AP itself.

As discussed in this previous post, the premise of AP philosophy is that children thrive not only emotionally, but physically, neurologically, cognitively, and socially when their innate needs are consistently met by loving caregivers, creating the strong bonds of secure attachment. A nice concept, certainly, but a bit abstract on its own. Fortunately, AP advocates like Dr. Sears and API have broken down the overarching idea of AP into several central tenets. API has identified eight principles of attachment parenting:

1. Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting. Become emotionally and physically prepared for pregnancy and birth. Research available options for healthcare providers and birthing environments, and become informed about routine newborn care. Continuously educate yourself about developmental stages of childhood, setting realistic expectations and remaining flexible.

2. Feed with Love and Respect. Breastfeeding is the optimal way to satisfy an infant's nutritional and emotional needs. "Bottle Nursing" adapts breastfeeding behaviors to bottle-feeding to help initiate a secure attachment. Follow the feeding cues for both infants and children, encouraging them to eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full. Offer healthy food choices and model healthy eating behavior.

3. Respond with Sensitivity. Build the foundation of trust and empathy beginning in infancy. Tune in to what your child is communicating to you, then respond consistently and appropriately. Babies cannot be expected to self-soothe, they need calm, loving, empathetic parents to help them learn to regulate their emotions. Respond sensitively to a child who is hurting or expressing strong emotion, and share in their joy.

4. Use Nurturing Touch. Touch meets a baby's needs for physical contact, affection, security, stimulation, and movement. Skin-to-skin contact is especially effective, such as during breastfeeding, bathing, or massage. Carrying or babywearing also meets this need while on the go. Hugs, snuggling, back rubs, massage, and physical play help meet this need in older children.

5. Engage in Nighttime Parenting. Babies and children have needs at night just as they do during the day; from hunger, loneliness, and fear, to feeling too hot or too cold. They rely on parents to soothe them and help them regulate their intense emotions. Sleep training techniques can have detrimental physiological and psychological effects. Safe co-sleeping has benefits to both babies and parents.

6. Provide Consistent and Loving Care. Babies and young children have an intense need for the physical presence of a consistent, loving, responsive caregiver: ideally a parent. If it becomes necessary, choose an alternate caregiver who has formed a bond with the child and who cares for him in a way that strengthens the attachment relationship. Keep schedules flexible, and minimize stress and fear during short separations.

7. Practice Positive Discipline. Positive discipline helps a child develop a conscience guided by his own internal discipline and compassion for others. Discipline that is empathetic, loving, and respectful strengthens the connection between parent and child. Rather than reacting to behavior, discover the needs leading to the behavior. Communicate and craft solutions together while keeping everyone's dignity intact.

8. Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life. It is easier to be emotionally responsive when you feel in balance. Create a support network, set realistic goals, put people before things, and don't be afraid to say "no". Recognize individual needs within the family and meet them to the greatest extent possible without compromising your physical and emotional health. Be creative, have fun with parenting, and take time to care for yourself.

No parent is perfect, and no parent can successfuly implement all of the principles, all of the time. But they provide some great guidelines, and remind us of what kind of parents we aspire to be. Look for posts on how the principles are applied in the everyday lives of AP families - including ours - both here on this blog, as well as over on API Speaks. And feel free to share your own!

Wordless Wednesday

Fancy, Schmancy

I'm not a professional photographer, and presently I don't have any plans to become one. But I've read enough in online photography forums about copying/theft of photos online that I decided it was worth it to start watermarking my work. I designed the watermark myself in Photoshop - those who know me and my general artistic ineptitude should be impressed! It's shown up in several photos on our Flickr photostream in the past week, but this is its debut on the blog:

Who Says Kids Don't Like Curry?

The first time a friend offered Violet a veggie “puff,” I was puzzled. ”They’re healthy,” she explained. “They’re made from vegetables.” Why not, I wondered, just give her the actual vegetables instead?

Western culture has an unfortunate tendency toward dumbing-down food for kids. Whether it’s for the sake of convenience, or the mistaken assumption that kids won’t like cauliflower, it’s more common to see a toddler munching on gummy fruit snacks than a fresh nectarine. Hoping to encourage an affinity for healthy, whole foods is one reason my husband and I opted to follow an approach I’d read about referred to as “baby-led weaning” (BLW) to introduce Violet to solid food. Instead of offering her the standard rice cereal and purees, we presented her with the real thing from the beginning and let her lead the way. Read more about Violet’s first encounter with solid food (we started with bananas) here.

BLW allows the baby to become acquainted with real food in its true form, exploring tastes and textures at her own pace. Texture is such a pivotal part of the epicurean experience, but purees eliminate that element entirely; learning to love pureed peas may not translate into an affection for the small round version that bursts in the mouth. BLW also gives the baby the chance to choose for herself among what is offered (i,e., polishing off her yam before moving on to the Quinoa with Latin Flavors and black beans or kiwi, above) and to be in control of how much she wants to consume - which helps her learn to follow her body’s signals in determining when to stop eating, rather than relying on the person wielding the spoon to decide for her.

From bananas, Violet ventured to other soft foods like avocado, squash and very ripe pears, and she didn’t stop there. By the time she was a year old, she had developed a pretty sophisticated palate, enjoying all the same dishes we do: from steel cut oats with cinnamon and raisins to Vegetarian Paella, Baked Ziti with Vegetables and Mushrooms, and grilled wild Alaskan Salmon with rosemary roasted potatoes and steamed broccoli. In a time crunch, we fall back on her favorite spinach, feta and heirloom tomato omelet.

We can’t take all the credit, of course – Violet’s willingness to sample anything we serve is in large part a product of her personality. But we certainly hope that exposing our daughter to healthy, unprocessed fare at an early age has contributed to her developing a taste for a variety of whole foods, prepared in different ways with different flavors . . . and that her preference for such delicacies will persist, even in the face of the less nutritionally desirable options she’ll no doubt encounter (and occasionally indulge in, as we all do) someday.

Reposted from API Speaks, September 14 2008.

Speaking Out

I started this blog simply as a means of sharing stories and photos with family and friends; its creation inspired by the impending birth of our first baby. It's evolved over the past year to include more posts on many of the parenting or otherwise kid-related subjects we're passionate about. As of today, some of those posts will reach beyond those original Postcard recipients!

I've been invited to become a contributing blogger at API Speaks, the blog for the Attachment Parenting International. My first post, Who Says Kids Don't Like Curry?, hit the API Speaks page this afternoon. I'll repost it here, but I encourage everyone to check out the API Speaks blog, or Attachment Parenting International's website. API "promotes parenting practices that create strong, healthy emotional bonds between children and their parents," something Eric and I feel strongly about. October has been designated as Attachment Parenting month, so expect to see more posts on AP subjects coming up, both here on Postcards From the East End, as well as over at API Speaks.

Look Who's Walking!

Violet took her first steps a couple of weeks ago, and I was fortunate enough to capture them in a photo! That evening, after returning home from work and daycare, Violet and I had headed outside to enjoy the late-summer sunshine. Camera in tow, of course. As I took a few shots of her on the grass, she practiced standing up on her own, always plopping back down on her well-padded bottom. And then . . . she lifted one tiny foot, and took a wobbly step forward. And then another. I kept snapping for a second or two before flinging the camera aside to scoop her up and give her a great big hug once she sat back down. She's been showing off her stride ever since!

Wordless Wednesday: Down By the River

Perpetual Harvest

I'd never successfully cultivated any form of plant life until this year. Houseplants weren't an option since they would have fallen prey to pets. Plants I attempted to keep at my office inevitably withered from lack of water because I am used to the living things I care for reminding me of their need for sustenance (none of my animals have never been shy about that). But I really wanted this garden to work, and with a little luck - and Eric's greener thumbs - it has!

We've pulled fresh produce from our own backyard all summer long. The first cuttings of spinach mid-May were followed by garden peas and the never-ending supply of summer squash. One of my favorite meals this season was a Barley Risotto with Summer Vegetables, which I was able to put together with almost all home-grown ingredients from our early harvest. (Violet loved this dish too!)

And that was just the beginning. About month ago, we dug up about 40 pounds of potatoes, and plucked a plethora of baby carrots along with them. Today the squash is still coming, the corn is ripe, and the tomato plants (heirloom, roma and grape) are producing almost more than we can keep up with. We're about to begin picking a lot of peppers as well: there's fruit appearing on almost all 10 of our sweet pepper plants, in addition to our 15 or so varieties of hot peppers that are putting out even more.

A couple of weeks ago, we retilled several beds whose crops had exhausted themselves and replanted with some that can withstand the increasing chill in the autumn air: cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, and more peas, carrots, spinach and salad greens. We're looking forward to continuing to pull more good food from the garden for at least another couple of months. I've also set my sights on preserving what we can't consume immediately - Julie from Chez Artz piqued my interest in canning some staples like tomatoes. That may be a bit ambitious for me, admitted amateur gardener, but I'd like to give it a try!

Doesn't Every Girl Love Horses?

Especially young girls. I know I did, and lunged at every chance to ride, even on those horrible near-mechanical trail rides offered by big commercial stables. It wasn't something I ever had the opportunity to pursue as much as I might have liked to, but having a horse of my own is something I still dream about.

My friend Tamara has realized the dream of owning her own horse so many girls share. Eight of them, actually. At In The Night Farm, Tamara breeds and trains horses for endurance racing: 25, 50, even 100 mile races through mountainous trails. And these horses are no ordinary horses. In addition to Aaruba, the Arabian gelding she is currently racing, Tamara owns and is training seven Barbs for the sport. The Barbs are a rare breed: hot-blooded and compact, built for distance in difficult terrain. Horse lovers don't hesitate to check out her blog - The Barb Wire - to see more of these beautiful creatures and read about the process of preparing them for endurance racing. (Cooks, gardeners, and those generally interested in healthy and sustainable living should also check out her companion blog, Nightlife.)

This weekend I volunteered to crew for Tamara on Sunday as she raced Aaruba at Old Selam, an endurance ride just outside of Idaho City. Saturday afternoon, Eric, Violet and I made a quick trip to ride camp so I could check out the location and Tamara could show me where things were before the race was underway the next morning. This was Violet's first introduction to real, live horses. Like most girls I've ever known, she fell in love at first sight:

The next morning I left Violet with her Dad and I was off to the races. Crewing wasn't complicated; I got to hang out with Aaruba while Tamara changed/ate/dosed Aaruba with electrolytes during holds. I also hauled a few buckets of water and prepared a fine dish of beet pulp for him to fill up on at one point. And of course I took pictures!

As for the race itself, I'll defer to Tamara's account over on The Barb Wire. (More photos can be found in her post there, too.) I enjoyed just being there in the midst of it all - the neighs ringing through ride camp throughout the day, the scent of horses (a distinctive medley of sweat-soaked leather, hay, and okay . . . manure) strong in the dusty atmosphere. It's another world, and one I'd like to visit again soon.

Wordless Wednesday

Stuff We Like: Tiny Diner Portable Placemat

We don't eat out often, but when we do, we want Violet to be able to eat with us. That's tough at this age, when food on a plate might as well be sitting on a frisbee waiting to find itself in flight. And of course the thought of putting what she'll be eating directly on the restaurant table is - put politely - stomach-churning. The solution? The Tiny Diner Portable Placemat.

The Tiny Diner placemat is compact (it rolls up to take up less space in the diaper bag), durable, and most importantly, made of safe materials: no lead, PVC, or phthalates. The suction cups on the bottom help affix it to the table, and the spill catcher is effective at keeping at least some of the food that doesn't make it to her mouth off the floor. We pack it alongside her meal whenever we head elsewhere to eat, and when she's done, roll it up, bring it home and wash it so it's ready to go again.

Here she is, putting it to good use tonight as she enjoys her dinner of brown rice, black beans, tomatoes and avocado (with a side of melon) at a brewery alongside the river:

Wordless Wednesday: Blowing Kisses

Celebrations(s)!

As I explained in the previous post, Violet's birthday was three weeks ago, but it's taken me some time to process the photos from the big day and her party the following weekend. Here are the highlights of the celebrations:

Eric and I both took the day off on Violet's birthday to spend the day with her. She kicked things off by trying out eating with utensils for the first time: we gave her a spoon with her oatmeal and let her have at it. Much mess ensued. She's still working on mastering the spoon, and falls back on using her fingers quite a bit, but we're happy to let her figure it out at her own pace.

The real festivities came after breakfast - birthday presents! Violet dove right into the pile, ripping away wrapping paper and inspecting the contents of each package. Among her favorites: a xylophone, a set of Haba blocks, and a Melissa and Doug Learn-To-Play Piano.

After lunch and a nap, we headed to the zoo, where Violet was captivated by the "ki-cas" (tigers/kitty-cats). Violet alternated riding in the Hotsling on my hip or on her Dad's shoulders while we checked out all the animals before heading home for her birthday dinner. We fixed her one of our favorites, Penne with Corn, Roasted Poblanos, Avocado and Tomato; she loved it. Followed that up with a few bites of huckleberry cheesecake, and the birthday girl was ready for a bath and bed. (To see the entire album of Violet's birthday, click on the photo of her and her dad at the zoo.)

The next weekend our families joined us for her birthday party at my parents' place (they have one less 150 pound dog to wrangle there). Lunch was planned with Violet in mind: Grilled Zucchini and Summer Squash Salad with Citrus Splash Dressing (made with zucchini and squash from our garden!), Garlicky Roasted Potato Salad, and fruit skewers with a honey-lime drizzle and mint garnish; grown-ups also got brats. Though we were up into the wee hours the night before prepping those dishes, it was worth it. We wanted Violet to be able to partake of at least most of the menu - it was her party, after all - and she enjoyed some of everything we'd made.

After lunch, the guests all gathered to watch Violet open her gifts. The first thing she unwrapped was a gorgeous pink pettiskirt, with matching wand and sparkly headband from her Aunt Amy and Aunt Meagan. She adored her new girly gear, and wore it until it was time for cake.

We wrapped up the festivities with a couple of Marion berry Upside-Down cakes I made using some delicious berries we picked up at the farmer's market the morning before. (Marion berries are a favorite of ours, and we planted some this spring, but it doesn't look like our bush will be producing much this year.) Violet loved the cake, but was left with a rash around her mouth and up near her eye, where she had rubbed with a cake-covered hand, after eating it. Once again, the rash faded quickly, and we still haven't been able to pinpoint what she's reacting to.

She fell asleep nursing not long after that, giving me some time to just watch her and marvel at how much she's changed in the past year. How did our baby get so big so fast?

(To see the entire album of Violet's birthday party, click on the photo of the birthday girl in her party hat above.)

Catching Up (And Keeping Up): Photos on Flickr

After acquiring my (er, our) first digital SLR in January, I’ve been shooting primarily in RAW. (For those who are not photo nerds, the difference between RAW files and the standard JPEG is that there is a certain amount of processing that takes place in-camera when you shoot in JPEG. RAW files are, well, raw, and must be processed by the photographer on the computer.)

Shooting in RAW has done a lot to further my self-study of the subject of photography, but tacks on a fairly significant amount of time in post-processing. That’s not a problem for individual photos, and is certainly worth the extra effort in portraiture. But it isn’t very practical for snapshots, particularly a lot of snapshots. I rarely remember to switch back to JPEG, though, so events like Violet’s birthday and birthday party can take me a while to get through.

After nearly three weeks, though, I’ve done it! A few photos will be featured in a separate subsequent post, and the complete albums can be found on our Flickr photostream: http://www.flickr.com/photos/photosfromtheeastend/. The Flickr photostream is something I’ve just recently started working on. From our photostream page, you can see all of our most recently uploaded stuff, as well as photos organized in sets.

One of those sets contains my latest (and perhaps most masochistic) project: Violet 365. I’ve resolved to take – and post - at least one photo of Violet a day, beginning on her first birthday, for a full year. I've kept it up for 21 days so far! (Only 344 to go . . .) My favorite photo for the week usually makes it to a Wordless Wednesday post, but if you’re wanting more, check the Flickr photostream for the daily additions. I’ve posted a permanent link on the left.

Wordless Wednesday

Love is Having a Fluffy Behind: Cloth Diapers Are Making a Comeback

“Love is patient, love is kind . . . love is having a fluffy behind.” So goes the saying in today’s cloth diapering community. After decades of dedication to disposable diapers, more and more parents are coming back to cloth. But the choice to cloth diaper is still far enough from the mainstream to inspire many raised eyebrows.

The even more common response we encountered whenever we announced our intention to cloth diaper Violet before she was born was a slightly patronizing smile, accompanied by the standard, “wait until the baby is here.” (Read: you’re never gonna go through with this.)

She’s over a year old now, and is still exclusively in cloth. Which might surprise some of the skeptics, but what they may not have considered is that cloth diapers have come a long way from the folding and pins so many of us picture when we hear "cloth diapers." There are several styles of cloth diapers available today, all of them easier to use than most people imagine.

Of course, however convenient cloth diapers may have become, they do require more of an effort than their disposable counterparts; there’s just no shortcut to the additional loads of laundry. So why do we do it?

The environmental impact of cloth vs. disposable diapers is the most widely recognized reason to choose cloth. Approximately 18 billion disposable diapers end up in landfills each year; they are the third largest source of solid waste found in landfills. It’s estimated that it takes somewhere between 250 and 500 years for a disposable diaper to decompose.

Concern for the environment does provide us with incentive to cloth diaper our daughter. But the even more compelling, though less talked-about, reason is that we believe it’s better not just for the environment, but for her. Disposable diapers contain several toxic chemicals that we’d rather not have next to her skin for two or more years.

Dioxin. Traces of dioxin, a by-product of the paper-bleaching process used in manufacturing disposable diapers, have been found in disposable diapers. Dioxin is a carcinogenic chemical that has been banned in most countries (but not the U.S.). It has been shown to cause liver damage, immune suppression and genetic damage, in addition to cancer.

TBT. Tributyltin (TBT) , which has also been found in disposable diapers, is an extremely toxic substance which can cause hormonal problems and damage the immune system.

Sodium Polyacrylate. This stuff makes up the clear gel that makes disposable diapers “super absorbent” (beads of it are often found on a disposable-diapered baby’s bum). Sodium polyacrylate was also used in tampons until it was removed in 1985 when it was linked to Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS). Equally alarming, employees in factories manufacturing sodium polyacrylate have been discovered to suffer from reproductive problems, fatigue, weight loss, and slow-healing wounds.

Disposable wipes caused us no less concern. Many physicians recommend not using disposable wipes until a baby is at least two weeks old because the chemicals in the wipes are too harsh for newborn skin. Since that didn’t sound like something we wanted to use on our baby’s skin at any age, we’ve opted for cloth wipes since she was born. Natural cleansing solutions are available for use with cloth wipes – we’ve opted to keep it simple and stick with pure water.

Even the thousands of additional loads of laundry our diapering decision has already created for us haven't dissuaded us from continuing to keep Violet in cloth. (For those concerned about water waste, don't - our HE machine keeps that to a minimum. And the resources, including water, involved in the manufacturing, distributing, and washing of cloth diapers don't even compare to those involved in the manufacture and distribution of the number of disposables a baby would go through in its diapering lifetime.) And while there have been a few hiccups in the process (buildup leading to leaks, one persistent yeast rash), we've figured out how to resolve all of those and prevent recurrence. It's absolutely been worth the effort, and we're looking forward to continuing Violet in cloth. Check back for more on cloth diapers, including our favorite diapers and accessories, in future posts!

Technorati Tags: cloth+diaper, cloth+diapers, cloth+diapering,

Wordless Wednesday

Don't Turn Around: Keep Kids' Car Seats Rear-Facing Longer

Although Violet is one year old, we don't have any plans to turn her car seat to face forward any time soon. Most parents are aware of the minimum standard: wait to turn the car seat from rear to forward facing until your child is one year old AND weighs at least twenty pounds. But experts - including the American Academy of Pediatricians (AAP) - agree that keeping kids rear-facing longer keeps them safer in the event of an accident.

How long? Kids are safest riding rear-facing as long as they continue to meet the height and weight limits of their specific car seat. For most convertible car seats, that means until the top of the child's head reaches the top of the shell, and up to 30 or 35 pounds. Many kids won't reach those limits until well past two, or even three.

In a frontal collision, injuries to a child in a car seat are generally limited to the head and neck. In a forward-facing seat, a child's body will be held back by the harness, while the head is thrown forward, subjecting the neck to massive stress, and possibly stretching or even breaking the spinal cord. In a rear-facing car seat, on the other hand, the head, neck and spine stay fully aligned, allowing the child to "ride down" the crash while the back of the seat absorbs most of the impact.

Though a rear-facing seat won't provide as much protection in a rear end collision, rear end collisions only account for about 4% of severe crashes - 72% of severe crashes are frontal collisions, and 24% side impacts. Frontal collisions are not only much more common, but much more severe than rear end crashes.

Kids can continue to ride rear-facing safely even when their legs are long enough that their feet are touching the vehicle seat. It may look uncomfortable to an adult, but kids are flexible and often prefer to sit with their legs folded. More importantly, there are no documented cases of hip or leg injuries in rear-facing children. And even if a child were to suffer an injury to a hip or leg, such injury would certainly be less devastating than the head or neck injury the child would likely have suffered if she had been forward facing during the collision.

In the United States, motor vehicles collisions are the number one cause of death for children under the age of 14. Keeping the car seat rear-facing as long as possible significantly reduces the risk of injury and death to children involved in collisions.

Looks like Violet is going to be enjoying the view out the back window a while longer.

Technorati Tags: carseat, rear-facing